Things are Looking Up

I've been a witness to two important developments in civil rights in the last two days. I have been expecting both of them for many months, and both touched me more than I expected.

Yesterday, two of my cherished friends were married. Guys, you're awesome -- I'm so happy for you. Of course, my feelings about your getting married aren't driven by politics, but by my high regard for both of you. But you've had things to figure out in your relationship that my straight married friends haven't, and I'm very proud of you.

Today, Barack Obama became the first person of color to be nominated as a major-party candidate for the office of President of the United States. He is not a Black candidate; he is a mainstream candidate who happens to be Black. The children in my post-Civil Rights-era generation were raised to assume race (and gender) equality; we will soon learn where those values will take us.

Who know what might happen tomorrow?

You Really, Really Like Me

Last night, Hillary Clinton gave an endorsement speech for Barack Obama. How well she did depends a lot on whom you ask. Today, the news media is on fire with questions like "She said she endorses him, sure, but she didn't say she liked him." "She may like him, but does she love him?" "He may be the nominee, but would she take the man to third base, or what?"

Enough already. Enough with the hand wringing, enough with the "you complete me" fawning from Clinton's and Obama's respective disciples. Enough with who really really endorses whom and who passed whom a note in gym class.

Our next president will be one of two men. Your decision, and mine, and that of every American at this point has nothing to do with parties or endorsements. It has to do with which of them will be most able to implement policies that you agree with.

Addendum (6:15 pm):

I'm listening to Bill Clinton speak right now, and he would totally take Barack to third base.

One Elite Washington Insider, Please

It's Monday, and the Democratic National Convention is now underway. We've heard a lot about who's an elitist, who's an insider or outsider, and who can best get this country back on track. We're about to hear a lot more of such glib schlock.

First, this business about being "elite": This five-letter-four-letter word came up a lot in 2004. What I said then, and John Stewart has since summed up more concisely than I, is: "Doesn't 'elite' mean 'good'?" Not that I'm a complete ninny, but I hope that my president and the so-called Leader of the Free World is smarter, better educated, and more worldly than I am. If the only thing to say for representative democracy is "I could have done it better myself, but I just don't have the time," then I don't know why we bother.

I'm not interested in whether the man (or woman) is great to have a beer with or whether he prefers beer to wine to Scotch. I don't care whether a proletarian Budweiser has ever even passed his lips. (I try not to let it pass mine, but then again, I'm an elitist too.) Give me someone who's incredibly smart, totally dedicated, and outrageously competent. This person will spend his days talking and working with the world's elite; it would be great if he knows how to do that effectively.

Second, I'm so tired of hearing about which U.S. senator is secretly an "outsider," someone unsullied by Washington politics. John McCain has been in the Senate since the Stone Age, and Joe Biden since the Bronze. The idea that either one of them is somehow outside the system is laughable. (Barack Obama is young enough to have been into The Wiggles before they were cool, so he might not be a Washington insider, but revealingly that's also the chief reason people don't trust him.) Guess what: the president works in Washington; he ought to know how things work there. He will be surrounded by hard-ball politics every minute of every day; he'd better know how to play the game, or he will be played.

There's a reason people like John McCain, Joe Biden, Ted Kennedy, and Ted Stevens have been in government forever: because they know how to get things done, and consequently their constituents continue to re-elect them so that they can continue to do them. More guys like that, please; give me an insider.

Being a Team Player

You know things are really bad when getting ahead at work is the only possible justification for having sex.

"If we had no sexual harassment we would have no children," the judge ruled.

Maybe it's just me, but the correct grammar in that quote kept tripping me up; I had to read it three times. Somehow, the line only works when delivered in broken English with a thick accent.